The Appeasement of Donald Trump
Independence Day. How ironic that on the day when Americans celebrate their rejection of the rule of the British king we may have elected with a massive majority a Labour government committed to submission to the would-be king of America. Since February there have been many more stories in the media of Labour attempts to […]
The Ten Commandments (King Donald Revised Unauthorized Version)
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before thyself 2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth except of thyself. 3. Thou shalt not take the […]
A London Romance
Relocating “Manhattan” Music by Richard Rodgers Lyrics by Lorenz Hart 1925 Searching on some beach for space With roughly half the human race And insects which bite – Cancel the flight! In a London maisonette We two could find a raison d’etre, So let’s join our names By the banks of the Thames. We’ll build […]
Jailhouse Trump
Another song in honor of the chief Defendant of the United States It’s incoming day at the county jailTruck on the way with a loud white maleThinks he’s a big shot and the people’s choiceBut he’s just another loser who loves his voiceLet’s lockLock up Donald TrumpWatch his ratings and his money slumpWhen we finally […]
A storming musical tribute to Donald Trump
Don’t know whyThey should find a case to tryFrom Stormy Daniels:Now I need a jury full of spaniels. Who knows where I can buy ‘em? (Tum-tum-yah-ta-ti-tah)If they look smartI’ll have to knock the jurorsOff the panels. Using all my friends in the right channels.Not going down for crime (wah-wah)Not serving any time. I paid her […]
The Brightest Daffodils Of Spring
I wandered lonely as a cloudAmongst the bookshop’s empty tillsWhen all at once I saw a crowdA host of golden daffodils:Like Guardsmen with their stiffened backs,The piles of Wisden Almanacks. Continuous as the stars that shineAnd twinkle on the milky way,They stretched in never-ending lineOn joyous publication day.Ten thousand saw I, crammed with factsOn cricket’s […]
Degrading, Futile, Unnecessary: Labour’s Overtures To Donald Trump
unpublished unBowdlerised version David Lammy, the Shadow Foreign Secretary, is clearly proud of his efforts to build a relationship with Donald Trump. He will have been gratified by their coverage in The Spectator, which contrasted them favourably with David Cameron’s attacks on Trump. In The Sunday Times a few weeks ago he sneered at opponents […]
The mellowing of Saeed Ahmed
Published in The Nightwatchman 2018 It is not always easy to call on former Pakistan cricket captain, Saeed Ahmed. On my last attempt he spoke to me only briefly in the street, barring passage to his home in Faisal Town, Lahore, as if blocking for a draw in a Test match. But there was a […]
A Cricket Bag Of Ideas
Three letters sent to ECB in the wake of the ICEC report in July 2023: no reply to any point received by January 2024 Richard Gould CEO England and Wales Cricket Board Dear Richard I emailed you through the ECB Media office with some proposals for the ECB response to the recent ICEC report. This […]
J E P McMaster: the hero of zero
Published in Scoreline magazine, Pakistan, 2018 At the time of writing (2019), 687 players have represented England in 1004 Test Matches since 1877. (By comparison Pakistan have used 233 players in 416 Test Matches.) I think I have watched every English Test performer since 1954, including many great ones. At the beginning were Len Hutton, […]