Category Archives for Belles-Lettres
R v Upward Day 5: Movie Star Named In Court Sensation
Tweet After overcoming a short interlude of existential despair Mr Justice Cocklecarrot proceeded briskly, and even brusquely, to initiate the trial of Luke Upward on criminal damage to a purple neon sign announcing the Polo Lounge nightclub. He directed both … Continue reading
R v Upward Day 4: Cocklecarrot Finds No Escape From Justice
Tweet Before Mr Justice Cocklecarrot could resume the trial of Luke Upward on a reduced charge of causing criminal damage to a neon sign he found it necessary to instruct the new court reporter who had replaced the dismissed … Continue reading
R v Upward Day 3 (Dickens Dashed)
Tweet After spending a day correcting his court reporter’s punctuation, Judge Cocklecarrot was ready to proceed with the trial of Luke Upward for shooting out a neon sign which had polluted his local night sky. “Sir Tipstaff, read out the … Continue reading
R v Upward Day 2: Cocklecarrot en colere (please insert accent grave)
Tweet Luke Upward’s trial resumed the following day with an angry announcement from the judge. “Some serious errors have been committed in the report of yesterday’s proceedings.” A stunned silence suffused the spectators, and a retired steam-presser in the jury … Continue reading
R v Upward (Day 1)
Tweet Luke Upward’s trial on firearms and criminal damage charges was originally set down for Mr Justice Ongart-Wylight. But he was suspended from the bench (an unpleasant mediaeval punishment) as the result of an indiscretion in the robing room with … Continue reading
Luke Upward’s Crime – and Punishment
Tweet In support of Patrick Moore’s campaign against “light pollution” Luke Upward wrote copious letters to influential journals and ghosted a special article for his old friend Lord Shortcake which occupied a double page in the Goldfish Gazette. When these … Continue reading
Luke Upward’s Nights With The Stars
Tweet Luke Upward had a personal and artistic bond with the nightclub pianist and crooner, Ricky Rubato. Like him, Rubato had a jealous rival, the metronomic but mediocre Johnny Atempo. He saw in Rubato another artist who had shunned the … Continue reading
Luke Upward: Belle Lettriste (with the accent on the “triste”)
Tweet The name of Luke Upward has melted with the snows of yesteryear. His critical reputation neither rises nor falls. In today’s literary salons and cultural forums he is no more likely to be analysed, or even mentioned, than Colley … Continue reading
Mitt Romney’s Mormon God: A Very Poor Chief Executive
Tweet Mitt Romney combines being a Mormon with being a management consultant. I wonder how he would evaluate the performance of his chosen God as a chief executive. For several thousand years Mr God runs a traditional small business in … Continue reading
Making sense of THE NETWORK: some cricket terms explained
Tweet Notes and Glossary to The Network (for non-devotees of cricket) Some ex-friends think them funnier than the novel itself I hope that The Network can be enjoyed by non-devotees of cricket, but there are passages where an explanation of … Continue reading
