Category Archives for Belles-Lettres
Luke Upward: The Legend Of Pimlico part 1
Tweet As previously noted, Luke Upward was intermittently banned from racecourses and betting shops, when it was discovered that other punters were betting the field against his selections. During one of these periods of relative prosperity, England’s pre-eminent man of … Continue reading
More of Luke Upward’s Excellent Business Advice
Tweet 1) Be on the alert if you see what might be a Scots, Welsh or Irish name. The Scots, Welsh and Irish, after centuries of subjugation, like to show that they are fully assimilated into British society, and they … Continue reading
Luke Upward’s Excellent Business Advice
Tweet Luke Upward’s loyal disciple, Ted Level, was touchingly anxious to give England’s premier but indigent man of letters any opportunity to earn easy money. He thought he had found one when he met an American businessman who was complaining … Continue reading
Luke Upward’s Drinking and Driving Video
Tweet Pursuing his theory that drink-drivers should be made to feel ridiculous, Luke Upward wrote the following video for the Ministry of Transport, suggesting that drink can turn genius into David Brent…. EXT. LORDS CRICKET GROUND. DAY Wide-angle view of … Continue reading
Luke Upward Confronts Boris Johnson
Tweet Despite the generous terms offered by Juan Fordamoni of T-Wrecks Rentals, Upward spent more and more of his life as a pedestrian. This should have been no hardship, for Upward had eighteenth-century standards of distance, and thought nothing of … Continue reading
Luke Upward Discovers A Hero Of Agincourt
Tweet Luke Upward could not stand the Prince de Millecrêpes, first husband of the genial Marquise de Tarpaulin, and described him as a bigger bore than the Severn, but he was intrigued by his ancestor, the Sieur de Millecrepes, who … Continue reading
Waiting For Gordo (2005): Prime Minister’s Questions
Tweet TONZZO: As I was saying gentlemen, I am here to listen, because it is important that we listen to what is important. And it can get lonely for a man, being right for eleven years, with no one to … Continue reading
Waiting For Gordo 2005: Gordon Brown Speaks – And Sings
Tweet Dear Prudence, always saving for a rainy day, Dear Prudence, always worried what the Bank will say. The pound is up, but trade’s in red. Our industry has gone to bed. Dear Prudence, always saving for come what may. … Continue reading
Waiting For Gordo (2005): The Attorney General’s Song
Tweet VLADIMERELY (sings): I’m not the very model of a bold Attorney-General I change opinions vegetable, animal and mineral: I serve the Queen of England and my office is historical But nothing in my view of law is ever categorical. … Continue reading
