A Horse With No Chance (after America)
Hoping that punters worldwide might appreciate this take on the rock classic Horse With No Name by America. Check this brilliant rendition by a self-isolating couple. https://twitter.com/americaband/status/1241782311269457920 Wonderful performance of a horse’s ass, against such daily competition from Donald Trump. Pedant’s note: names of horses in second verse are from the “Fugue For Tinhorns” in Guys And Dolls.
My journey began in the OTB [or betting shop for UK]
I was glad to get out of the rain.
I
saw runners and riders on all kind of screens
And
I thought that my luck might change.
The
first horse I saw was called Paul Revere
But
they told me he didn’t like mud,
Then
I took a shine to one called Valentine
But
some guy said that he was a dud.
So
I put all my money on a horse with no chance,
I
can’t even remember his name:
His
rider felt all kinds of shame
To
be mounted on something so lame.
La
la la-la-la-la
La
la … Lose
La
la la-la-la-la
La la … Lose.
I
was staring hard at the TV screen
As
they opened the starting gate
And
I looked for my horse in the spray of mud
But
it gave me a very long wait.
And
then I got all excited
When
my horse took second place
But
when I tried to collect all my dreams were wrecked
Because
he’d started in the previous race.
I’d
put all my money on a horse with no chance
I
can’t even remember his name
His
rider said that he wasn’t to blame:
He
was mounted on something so lame.
La
la la-la-la-la
La
la … Lose.
La
la la-la-la-la
La
la … Lose.
Long
slow fade out. Like the horse.
©
new lyrics Richard Heller