Category Archives for Belles-Lettres
Letter in Pedantry Corner, Private Eye No 1452
Tweet “In your previous issue, Nursery Times must have misquoted the Big Bad Wolf when referring to his ‘vulpine activities’ – unless he was cross-dressing as the Fantastic Mr Fox. A wolf’s behaviour is normally lupine. I am not allowed … Continue reading
Screenwriting Blues
Tweet I reach this point in every Screenplay. It arrived this morning in the Lahore Movie. I have pared down the major characters. I have wiped out all the colourful but cluttering minor characters. I have murdered all the little … Continue reading
A Modest Proposal To Help Tailend Batsmen Earn A Draw In Cricket Matches
Tweet Proposed amendment to Law 16 section 6 Last hour of match: number of overs Add at end of first paragraph “Before that over commences, the batting side captain may on notification to the umpires decline during the next session … Continue reading
Luke Upward Meets Monsieur de Crapaud
Tweet As Luke Upward’s patron, the amiable Marquis de Tarpaulin, became more and more devoted to his collection of old cars, his soirées became more and more over-run with old car bores who did not know a salon from a … Continue reading
Three Dickensian death tributes
Tweet Published in the Yorkshire Post 23 Dec 2011 (revised 23 December 2016) Ebenezer Scrooge was a successful banker who survived early derision to earn recognition as a champion of sound finance and a pioneer of environmentally sustainable living. Scrooge … Continue reading
Luke Upward and General Zia ul-Haq
Tweet One of the joys of being Luke Upward’s official biographer is that I sometimes uncover new information about the life of England’s premier but often elusive man of letters. I recently discovered that Upward was a diplomatic correspondent in … Continue reading
Luke Upward Discovers A French Spin On Agincourt
Tweet Luke Upward could not stand the Prince de Millecrêpes, first husband of Annie Oldiron, who later married his patron, the affable Marquis de Tarpaulin, and helped him create a “big tent” for writers in their regular Friday salons where she poured … Continue reading
A Wounded Tiger At Bay In Pakistan
Tweet With the Wounded Tiger Cricket Tour of Pakistan 2014: a few personal notes Weds Nov 5: satisfactory PIA overnight flight to Lahore, although unable to resort to normal longhaul relief by drinking myself insensible (cf Squire Haggard). To refurbished … Continue reading
Peccavimus (We Have Stayed In The Sind Club)
Tweet Impressions of a first visit by Peter Oborne and Richard Heller (November 2012) For a first-time visitor, the Sind Club is hard to believe. Set within a sprawling, noisy turbulent city, its order, its elegance, its history make the … Continue reading
Luke Upward’s Great Lies Of Modern Times (some additions)
Tweet 1) Your call is important to us 2) Easy to assemble 3) Serves 2 4) Fun for all the family 5) You can’t miss it 6) I didn’t get your email for some reason, could you send it again? … Continue reading
