Category Archives for Belles-Lettres
J E P McMaster: the hero of zero
Tweet Published in Scoreline magazine, Pakistan, 2018 At the time of writing (2019), 687 players have represented England in 1004 Test Matches since 1877. (By comparison Pakistan have used 233 players in 416 Test Matches.) I think I have watched … Continue reading
The rewards of mediocrity
Tweet Published in the Journal of the Cricket Society December 2023 Some are born mediocre, some have mediocrity thrust upon them but some achieve mediocrity only after a lifetime of hard work. That is the central message of my intended … Continue reading
No Agent, No Baubles…
Tweet … and no sale either, when this was offered two years ago I have been dismissed by my literary agent. Politely but unmistakably, and I was glad to be spared the usual flummeries: pressure of demand from other clients … Continue reading
How to write a rejection letter
Tweet Written for a how-to video series for businesses 2010 How do I write a rejection letter? The writer Evelyn Waugh had a simple and instant method of rejecting proposals from strangers. He sent out a printed card with the … Continue reading
The Quality Of Mercer Gets Quite Strained
Tweet Two new songs by Johnny Mercer and Harold Arlen Any Place I Feed My Cat Is Home (for Theo) Still a kittenThat’s his styleLife is playtimeMakes me smileStalks treats in theCarpet pileShreds paper into FoamAn’ any place I feed … Continue reading
You Are The Umpire
Tweet Published in the Cricket Society Journal October 2018 For ten summers from 2007 to 2016 the Observer newspaper carried a popular illustrated feature called “You Are The Umpire.” Its creator was the English and international umpire John Holder. He … Continue reading
Letter in Pedantry Corner, Private Eye No 1452
Tweet “In your previous issue, Nursery Times must have misquoted the Big Bad Wolf when referring to his ‘vulpine activities’ – unless he was cross-dressing as the Fantastic Mr Fox. A wolf’s behaviour is normally lupine. I am not allowed … Continue reading
Screenwriting Blues
Tweet I reach this point in every Screenplay. It arrived this morning in the Lahore Movie. I have pared down the major characters. I have wiped out all the colourful but cluttering minor characters. I have murdered all the little … Continue reading
A Modest Proposal To Help Tailend Batsmen Earn A Draw In Cricket Matches
Tweet Proposed amendment to Law 16 section 6 Last hour of match: number of overs Add at end of first paragraph “Before that over commences, the batting side captain may on notification to the umpires decline during the next session … Continue reading
Luke Upward Meets Monsieur de Crapaud
Tweet As Luke Upward’s patron, the amiable Marquis de Tarpaulin, became more and more devoted to his collection of old cars, his soirées became more and more over-run with old car bores who did not know a salon from a … Continue reading