Category Archives for Belles-Lettres
seasons greetings from kafkaa the poetic cockroach cousin to the famous archy
Tweet twas the night before christmas and in the big house the last creature stirring was mortimer mouse devising some uplifting sentiments new to fill up his masterpiece keep squeaking through the book that will soon be the talk of … Continue reading
Poor Swift (from my lockdown diary for 28 May)
Tweet In my distant schooldays I read Jonathan Swift for English A Level. I read him again intermittently for pleasure and possible literary larceny, since he is of course out of copyright. Then and now, I would sometimes have to … Continue reading
For Your Listening Pleasure
Tweet Two coronaballads… A Viral Romance A fine romance with no clinches A fine romance at 78.7 inches We should be making each other feel desirous But we’ve been kept apart by this blasted virus. A fine romance, with no … Continue reading
A Murder Of Note
Tweet The best screenplay what I have written this week. Available to investors as a fun way to make a tax loss. Xander (have always liked names beginning with X) is a handsome young pianist of extraordinary talent. He is … Continue reading
A Horse With No Chance (after America)
Tweet Hoping that punters worldwide might appreciate this take on the rock classic Horse With No Name by America. Check this brilliant rendition by a self-isolating couple. https://twitter.com/americaband/status/1241782311269457920 Wonderful performance of a horse’s ass, against such daily competition from Donald … Continue reading
Everybody Gets A Chance To Shine
Tweet Composed years ago for Chance to shine at the launch of my children’s character Harry Bear MP, but never used. Revived now when the world, especially the cricket world, seems to want and need uplifting lyrics. The night may … Continue reading
This Side Of Paradise? The Cricket Club Of India
Tweet My tribute to the CCI published in the brochure for the Lords and Commons CC tour of India in 2004-05 When I die, assuming I have any choice in the matter, I would like to spend my afterlife in … Continue reading
Blair speaks!
Tweet From my 2005 play Waiting For Gordo a bleak existential drama of backbench life in the Labour Party. Spoken by my character Placebo Lackey MP, but all passages by Tony Blair I believe – passionately – that it is … Continue reading
John Donne anticipates the UK election results declared on St Lucy’s Day
Tweet ‘Tis the year’s midnight, and it is the day’s, Lucy’s, who scarce seven hours herself unmasks; The sun is spent, and now his flasks Send forth light squibs, no constant rays; The world’s whole sap is sunk; The general … Continue reading
A Modern Marvel
Tweet Where the bespoke Bermudas ride On sated tourists, plumply thigh’d, And Palm Beach suitings come to greet The guaranteed sub-tropic heat, A Margarita’d poolside throng Delivered up this holy song: “How should we render HILTON’s praise Who searched through … Continue reading
