“Steve. People like you with giant hearts can be very destructive without knowing. They love everybody and they can’t bear to disappoint anybody. That’s you, isn’t it?”

“I guess so. I’ve been really happy lately and I want to make everyone I meet happy.”

“Impossible, Steve, and if you try you’ll get exhausted and resentful. Meet your own emotional needs, don’t always put others first. It’s not even fair on all the other people, never to give them the chance of putting you first. When you have kids. Then you’d sacrifice anything for their sake, even your life. But not before. Above all, don’t get into a relationship with anyone because you feel sorry for them or grateful. I meet couples like that regularly in the divorce court.”

“Joe said the key to all relationships was intimacy.”

“Good thinking. So – Zoe or Marjorie? Who makes you feel – intimate? At ease.”

“Well, they both do. They’re like two halves of me, Zoe’s the book half, and Marjorie’s the cricket half.”

“So meet both of your needs. See them both. Don’t be afraid to disappoint one of them, or both if you meet someone else. Don’t be afraid to disappoint me, or Cal. That’s the toughest one, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Because he’s so happy when he gets what he wants. Don’t protest – I know him better. He can sometimes turn that on, making people want to make him happy. His father had that terrible gift. I couldn’t bear it for him to turn out that way. Say no sometimes – and when you want to, say goodbye.”