Rt Hon Lord Patten of Barnes CH
Chancellor of
Dear Chancellor,
Dishonorary degrees at
One of your more agreeable functions is to give out honorary degrees to worthy eminent persons. I believe that these are usually in the form of Doctorates of Civil Law.
I would like to propose a mirror-image ceremony of Dishonorary Degrees.to unworthy eminent persons, awarded as a mark of censure by the University.
Initially, I would suggest one recipient each year, to be chosen by election by all resident members of any college or institution which is part of the University. In fact, I think it would be reasonable for all
I would be prepared to endow an annual University prize, to be awarded to the undergraduate who had submitted the best nomination in 1000 words of less, whether or not his or her nominee was elected. The best nominations would be published each year, to finance the award and I hope, produce a surplus for the benefit of the University and myself.
The actual award ceremony should match that of honorary degrees as far as possible, which is why I hope that you would present them each year in the Sheldonian Theatre in the form of a Doctorate of Uncivil Law. I do not imagine that many recipients would collect their degrees in person, but the non-attenders would be represented by a University actor. In place of the Public Orator, there would be a Public Rotator (roaster), who would deliver suitable obloquy in Latin. If you found it impossible or impolitic to attend, you might yourself be represented by a University “Lord of Misrule”. I would be prepared to assume this post myself, although the name of our Balliol contemporary Howard Marks also comes to mind.
I believe that such an annual ceremony would deliver the University considerable opportunities for entertainment and creativity. However, the actual choice would also give it a chance to affirm its values. The Dishonorary Degree might be given to a warmonger, a planet-wrecker, a book-burner, or the Very Fat Man Who Waters The Workers’ Beer. It might also to help victims of persecution, if it were given to their persecutor.
Whoever was chosen, I believe that the election and ceremony would reinforce part of
Yours sincerely,
Richard Heller
Balliol 1966 (which has given me the alarming Alumni ID of Hell 666)