An Alternative Inauguration Speech
The speech I offered Joe Biden.
“My fellow Americans. I am now your President. I thank all those who voted for me or against me. I thank the officials and volunteers who in conditions of unprecedented difficulty gave them the means to do so. They are truly the army of American democracy. They allowed us again to shine our values to the world. It is my solemn duty to govern for all Americans, and this I will fulfil. To those who voted for me I will keep my promises, to those who voted against me I will try to give you also a better life. I will respect your right to disagree with me, asking only that you do this with respect for truth and the law and the rights of others. That is the American way. We now have huge tasks to achieve in a short space. Let us all get to work. God bless America, God protect our troops.”
That would have been 112 words shorter than the Gettysburg address and set up nicely his blizzard of executive orders. Within those and the associated briefing he might have included one cute American wildlife species whose habitat would be saved.