A Horse With No Chance (after America)
Hoping that punters worldwide might appreciate this take on the rock classic Horse With No Name by America. Check this brilliant rendition by a self-isolating couple. https://twitter.com/americaband/status/1241782311269457920 Wonderful performance of a horse’s ass, against such daily competition from Donald Trump. Pedant’s note: names of horses in second verse are from the “Fugue For Tinhorns” in Guys And Dolls.
My journey began in the OTB [or betting shop for UK]
I was glad to get out of the rain.
I saw runners and riders on all kind of screens
And I thought that my luck might change.
The first horse I saw was called Paul Revere
But they told me he didn’t like mud,
Then I took a shine to one called Valentine
But some guy said that he was a dud.
So I put all my money on a horse with no chance,
I can’t even remember his name:
His rider felt all kinds of shame
To be mounted on something so lame.
La la la-la-la-la
La la … Lose
La la la-la-la-la
La la … Lose.
I was staring hard at the TV screen
As they opened the starting gate
And I looked for my horse in the spray of mud
But it gave me a very long wait.
And then I got all excited
When my horse took second place
But when I tried to collect all my dreams were wrecked
Because he’d started in the previous race.
I’d put all my money on a horse with no chance
I can’t even remember his name
His rider said that he wasn’t to blame:
He was mounted on something so lame.
La la la-la-la-la
La la … Lose.
La la la-la-la-la
La la … Lose.
Long slow fade out. Like the horse.
© new lyrics Richard Heller
