Luke Upward’s Great Lies Of Modern Times (some additions)
1) Your call is important to us
2) Easy to assemble
3) Serves 2
4) Fun for all the family
5) You can’t miss it
6) I didn’t get your email for some reason, could you send it again?
7) Of course it’s not too much trouble
eight*) I’d love to come but it depends when the engineer has finished [add optional account of long search and wait for engineer, appointments rarer than transits of Venus]
9) You must give me the recipe
10) Sorry, the bank transfer must have failed [replaces former cheque-is-in-the-post]
11) Stand still and it won’t attack you
12) [From speaker] I will not keep you long
13) Don’t worry, it always makes that noise
14) You’ll love it once you’re in [whether in relation to swimming pool or marketing scheme or European Union]
15) Sorry I couldn’t get back earlier – I’ve been snowed under
16) Awardwinning/recordbreaking/unforgettable [especially if applied to musical comedy]
17) GSOH
18) To be perfectly honest with you…
*Why does numeral 8 show up as an idiotic smiley face?
